Bread Week was vintage Great British Bake Off, by Jim Shelley

‘Spongy buns’ was the new ‘soggy bottom’ while Manon joked about asking Paul Hollywood ‘do you want to see my buns?!’ Bread Week was vintage Great British Bake Off, by Jim Shelley

Bread Week was The Great British Bake Off at its best.

A ridiculously enjoyable mix of incredible, sophisticated, creations and indefensibly adolescent innuendo. It certainly had more puns about buns than a festival of Carry On films.

Contestants had ‘fantastic buns’, ‘massive buns’, even ‘buns that looked nice but were sticky round the edges’ – which no one wants and probably requires a visit to the doctor.

Puns for buns: Bread Week was The Great British Bake Off at its best. A ridiculously enjoyable mix of incredible, sophisticated, creations and indefensibly adolescent innuendo. It certainly had more puns about buns than a festival of Carry On films

Puns for buns: Bread Week was The Great British Bake Off at its best. A ridiculously enjoyable mix of incredible, sophisticated, creations and indefensibly adolescent innuendo. It certainly had more puns about buns than a festival of Carry On films

Puns for buns: Bread Week was The Great British Bake Off at its best. A ridiculously enjoyable mix of incredible, sophisticated, creations and indefensibly adolescent innuendo. It certainly had more puns about buns than a festival of Carry On films

Frankly it was hard to say which was better: the cooking or the comments.

There’s just something about bread that makes Bread Week vintage Bake Off. In theory it could because everyone likes bread.

We live in a country where toast is part of the culture – a staple of our daily diet and practically a national delicacy that sustains us through childhood/education, before or after work, into old age.

On the other hand the bread the contestants were producing was not like anything we had ever made, or even seen, before.

Hilarious: Contestants had ‘fantastic buns’, ‘massive buns’, even ‘buns that looked nice but were sticky round the edges’ – which no one wants and probably requires a visit to the doctor

Hilarious: Contestants had ‘fantastic buns’, ‘massive buns’, even ‘buns that looked nice but were sticky round the edges’ – which no one wants and probably requires a visit to the doctor

Hilarious: Contestants had ‘fantastic buns’, ‘massive buns’, even ‘buns that looked nice but were sticky round the edges’ – which no one wants and probably requires a visit to the doctor

Bread week: Frankly it was hard to say which was better: the cooking or the comments. There’s just something about bread that makes Bread Week vintage Bake Off. In theory it could because everyone likes bread

Bread week: Frankly it was hard to say which was better: the cooking or the comments. There’s just something about bread that makes Bread Week vintage Bake Off. In theory it could because everyone likes bread

Bread week: Frankly it was hard to say which was better: the cooking or the comments. There’s just something about bread that makes Bread Week vintage Bake Off. In theory it could because everyone likes bread

The bakers were buzzing about Bread Week, the way footballers do about the Cup Final.

‘It’s Bread Week. I’m excited!’ Kim-Joy beamed, summing up the mood. ‘Bread’s my thing, so I really feel the pressure to do well.’

‘I love eating bread!’ Ruby announced, as if this was controversial, going so far as to claim: ‘a lot of people have turned their back on eating bead recently but not me!’

Manon picked up the baton, showing it wasn’t just us Brits either. ‘Do the French make the best bread in the world? Yes they do!’

Buzz: On the other hand the bread the contestants were producing was not like anything we had ever made, or even seen, before. The bakers were buzzing about Bread Week, the way footballers do about the Cup Final

Buzz: On the other hand the bread the contestants were producing was not like anything we had ever made, or even seen, before. The bakers were buzzing about Bread Week, the way footballers do about the Cup Final

Buzz: On the other hand the bread the contestants were producing was not like anything we had ever made, or even seen, before. The bakers were buzzing about Bread Week, the way footballers do about the Cup Final

Pressure: ‘It’s Bread Week. I’m excited!’ Kim-Joy beamed, summing up the mood. ‘Bread’s my thing, so I really feel the pressure to do well’

Pressure: ‘It’s Bread Week. I’m excited!’ Kim-Joy beamed, summing up the mood. ‘Bread’s my thing, so I really feel the pressure to do well’

Pressure: ‘It’s Bread Week. I’m excited!’ Kim-Joy beamed, summing up the mood. ‘Bread’s my thing, so I really feel the pressure to do well’

Part of what made Bread Week ‘special’ was knowing that they were going to be judged by Paul Hollywood.

‘Paul is Captain Bread,’ as Noel Fielding put it. ‘He sleeps in a bap.’

He had, of course, chosen this week’s first Challenge: Chelsea buns – ‘a bit of a speciality of mine.’

There was no need to boast – especially about something that is a fairly niche area of expertise.

Even he had probably never seen Chelsea buns like those the Bakers came up with.

Confident: Manon picked up the baton, showing it wasn’t just us Brits either. ‘Do the French make the best bread in the world? Yes they do!’

Confident: Manon picked up the baton, showing it wasn’t just us Brits either. ‘Do the French make the best bread in the world? Yes they do!’

Confident: Manon picked up the baton, showing it wasn’t just us Brits either. ‘Do the French make the best bread in the world? Yes they do!’

Having a bap: Part of what made Bread Week ‘special’ was knowing that they were going to be judged by Paul Hollywood. ‘Paul is Captain Bread,’ as Noel Fielding put it. ‘He sleeps in a bap'

Having a bap: Part of what made Bread Week ‘special’ was knowing that they were going to be judged by Paul Hollywood. ‘Paul is Captain Bread,’ as Noel Fielding put it. ‘He sleeps in a bap'

Having a bap: Part of what made Bread Week ‘special’ was knowing that they were going to be judged by Paul Hollywood. ‘Paul is Captain Bread,’ as Noel Fielding put it. ‘He sleeps in a bap’

Kim-Joy for instance, even declared ‘it will be nice to explain something new to Paul about bread!’ using the Tangzhong technique’ which sounded like something from the Karma Sutra or a yoga position.

After this episode of the Bake Off it’s safe to say the Chelsea buns they sell in Greggs will never seem the same again. They will always be spectacularly inadequate.

Dan’s Chelsea buns for example had brandy-soaked sultanas while Antony’s were not blessed with a ‘cinnamon and peanut butter’ filling but glazed with ‘boozy caramel.’

Jon had made ‘salted caramel and pecan flavoured Chelsea buns, capped off with an ‘unusual’ topping that left Prue Leith almost lost for words: marshmallows.

‘That sounds really…’

‘Delicious!’ the voice in our head screamed.

‘Disgusting…’ she finally decided (madly).

Delight: Dan’s Chelsea buns for example had brandy-soaked sultanas while Antony’s were not blessed with a ‘cinnamon and peanut butter’ filling but glazed with ‘boozy caramel’

Delight: Dan’s Chelsea buns for example had brandy-soaked sultanas while Antony’s were not blessed with a ‘cinnamon and peanut butter’ filling but glazed with ‘boozy caramel’

Delight: Dan’s Chelsea buns for example had brandy-soaked sultanas while Antony’s were not blessed with a ‘cinnamon and peanut butter’ filling but glazed with ‘boozy caramel’

Delight: Dan’s Chelsea buns for example had brandy-soaked sultanas while Antony’s were not blessed with a ‘cinnamon and peanut butter’ filling but glazed with ‘boozy caramel’

Delight: Dan’s Chelsea buns for example had brandy-soaked sultanas while Antony’s were not blessed with a ‘cinnamon and peanut butter’ filling but glazed with ‘boozy caramel’

Interesting: Jon had made ‘salted caramel and pecan flavoured Chelsea buns, capped off with an ‘unusual’ topping that left Prue Leith almost lost for words: marshmallows. ‘That sounds really…’

Interesting: Jon had made ‘salted caramel and pecan flavoured Chelsea buns, capped off with an ‘unusual’ topping that left Prue Leith almost lost for words: marshmallows. ‘That sounds really…’

Interesting: Jon had made ‘salted caramel and pecan flavoured Chelsea buns, capped off with an ‘unusual’ topping that left Prue Leith almost lost for words: marshmallows. ‘That sounds really…’

Fillings/flavours in other Bakers’ buns included: ‘strawberry and Balsamic vinegar’ (Briony), pistachio and cardamom’ (Kim-Joy), ‘apricot, cranberry, and Chai tea’ (Manon), and ‘sweet mango chutney with cranberry and Bengali five spice’ (Rahul of course).

‘That filling is stunning,’ Paul Hollywood told him. ‘Very clever.’

Earlier he had teased the young Indian for being so nervous his hands were actually shaking.

‘Come on ! You were Star Baker last week!’ Hollywood reminded him, before laughing: ‘then again, there’s only one way to go from there!’

Thrilled: Fillings/flavours in other Bakers’ buns included: ‘strawberry and Balsamic vinegar’ (Briony), pistachio and cardamom’ (Kim-Joy), ‘apricot, cranberry, and Chai tea’ (Manon), and ‘sweet mango chutney with cranberry and Bengali five spice’ (Rahul of course). ‘That filling is stunning,’ Paul Hollywood told him. ‘Very clever’

Thrilled: Fillings/flavours in other Bakers’ buns included: ‘strawberry and Balsamic vinegar’ (Briony), pistachio and cardamom’ (Kim-Joy), ‘apricot, cranberry, and Chai tea’ (Manon), and ‘sweet mango chutney with cranberry and Bengali five spice’ (Rahul of course). ‘That filling is stunning,’ Paul Hollywood told him. ‘Very clever’

Thrilled: Fillings/flavours in other Bakers’ buns included: ‘strawberry and Balsamic vinegar’ (Briony), pistachio and cardamom’ (Kim-Joy), ‘apricot, cranberry, and Chai tea’ (Manon), and ‘sweet mango chutney with cranberry and Bengali five spice’ (Rahul of course). ‘That filling is stunning,’ Paul Hollywood told him. ‘Very clever’

Gone: Antony was not so lucky and became the third contestant to go home. Unfortunately, Hollywood told him, his buns were ‘dry’ – the kind of personal observation/pun that quickly became de rigeur in the Signature round when he challenged them to make Chelsea buns

Gone: Antony was not so lucky and became the third contestant to go home. Unfortunately, Hollywood told him, his buns were ‘dry’ – the kind of personal observation/pun that quickly became de rigeur in the Signature round when he challenged them to make Chelsea buns

Gone: Antony was not so lucky and became the third contestant to go home. Unfortunately, Hollywood told him, his buns were ‘dry’ – the kind of personal observation/pun that quickly became de rigeur in the Signature round when he challenged them to make Chelsea buns

Not necessarily. Not if you were Star Baker again, as Rahul was.

Antony was not so lucky and became the third contestant to go home.

Unfortunately, Hollywood told him, his buns were ‘dry’ – the kind of personal observation/pun that quickly became de rigeur in the Signature round when he challenged them to make Chelsea buns.

Briony had ‘pretty buns’ for example while ‘Kim-Joy’s buns were perfect.’

Terry had ‘beautiful soft buns’ (which was nice) but Jon’s ‘spongy buns’ the new ‘soggy bottom.’

Perfect: Briony had ‘pretty buns’ for example while ‘Kim-Joy’s buns were perfect'

Perfect: Briony had ‘pretty buns’ for example while ‘Kim-Joy’s buns were perfect'

Perfect: Briony had ‘pretty buns’ for example while ‘Kim-Joy’s buns were perfect'

Perfect: Briony had ‘pretty buns’ for example while ‘Kim-Joy’s buns were perfect'

Perfect: Briony had ‘pretty buns’ for example while ‘Kim-Joy’s buns were perfect’

'Soft': Terry had ‘beautiful soft buns’ (which was nice) but Jon’s ‘spongy buns’ the new ‘soggy bottom'

'Soft': Terry had ‘beautiful soft buns’ (which was nice) but Jon’s ‘spongy buns’ the new ‘soggy bottom'

‘Soft’: Terry had ‘beautiful soft buns’ (which was nice) but Jon’s ‘spongy buns’ the new ‘soggy bottom’

Ruby had expressed her fear that Hollywood would be ‘poking and prodding away’ at hers – not an image anyone needed.

In fact he declared Ruby’s buns were ‘hard and crispy and not sticky enough.’

Not how they should be, said Prue Leith, and not what we were expecting.

Manon, not for the first time, trumped them all though. She had ‘heart-shaped buns’, which won the best bun pun if nothing else.

‘I’m going to say to Paul: do you want to see my buns?!’ she laughed to Ruby.

I think we all knew what his answer would have been. 

Having a laugh: Manon, not for the first time, trumped them all though. She had ‘heart-shaped buns’, which won the best bun pun if nothing else. ‘I’m going to say to Paul: do you want to see my buns?!’ she laughed to Ruby

Having a laugh: Manon, not for the first time, trumped them all though. She had ‘heart-shaped buns’, which won the best bun pun if nothing else. ‘I’m going to say to Paul: do you want to see my buns?!’ she laughed to Ruby

Having a laugh: Manon, not for the first time, trumped them all though. She had ‘heart-shaped buns’, which won the best bun pun if nothing else. ‘I’m going to say to Paul: do you want to see my buns?!’ she laughed to Ruby

 

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