Hereâ€™s a heartwarming tale for anyone who has repeatedly asked out the same woman and always been rejected; anyone who has fallen at the first hurdle in Britainâ€™s Got Talent year after year; anyone who has spent the last 15 years emailing business proposals to Alan Sugar and never once received a reply.
Itâ€™s a tale of perseverance, of love, and â€“ above all â€“ of football: Toni Kroos has finally said â€śyesâ€ť to Manchester United.
That, at least, is according to the Express, which claims the Real Madrid midfielder â€“ who the Red Devils have previously tried and failed to sign on approximately 146 occasions â€“ is now â€śseriously interestedâ€ť in a move to Old Trafford.
So what changed? Thatâ€™s unclear, because the Express seems to be basing this entire story on one sentence halfway down a Don Balon article about Luka Modric â€“ hence details are scant.
However, the paper has used its vivid imagination to elaborate extra elements, such as the fact that United manager Jose Mourinho is â€śhellbentâ€ť on buying the German midfielder, much to the annoyance of Paul Pogba whose departure could be hastened as result.
If nothing else this story is a reminder that anything is possible in this world (unless, of course, it is not true).
United also remain on the trail of Celticâ€™s Kieran Tierney, but the Sun says they will face competition from Tottenham and Atletico Madrid for the ÂŁ20m-rated left-back. The La Liga side will reportedly send scouts to watch the 20-year-old in this weekendâ€™s Scottish Cup final, which is exciting news for Motherwellâ€™s players.
Mikel Arteta is â€śvery closeâ€ť to being appointed as Arsenalâ€™s new manager, according to the Independent, which adds that Gunners midfielder Santi Cazorla is set to join his fellow Spaniardâ€™s backroom staff.
Arteta is said to have held â€śproductive talksâ€ť with the Arsenal board in recent days and â€śticks all the boxesâ€ť to succeed Arsene Wenger. Among them is presumably â€śinexpensiveâ€ť.
Joining Arteta at the Emirates could be Jean-Michael Seri, who the Mirror says has â€śheld talksâ€ť with the Gunners about a possible ÂŁ40m transfer. However, Chelsea are in apparently in â€śpole positionâ€ť to sign the Nice midfielder.
READ MORE: Emery â€“ Neymar will stay at PSG
There is less encouraging news for the Blues on Mauricio Pochettino, who the Star says will â€śsnubâ€ť the chance to take over from Antonio Conte at Stamford Bridge and instead â€śstay loyalâ€ť to Tottenham.
Meanwhile, Napoli defender Kalidou Koulibaly â€“ who is wanted by Chelsea, Arsenal and Man Utd â€“ has had a ÂŁ88m price tag â€śslappedâ€ť onto him by Napoli, says the Mirror via Radio Kiss Kiss Napoli. It really is an excellent radio station.
Elsewhere, Leicester City defender Harry Maguire will consider his future â€śafter the World Cupâ€ť amid interest from Manchester City (Mirror), West Ham want to sign ÂŁ10m-rated Burnley goalkeeper Tom Heaton after passing up on the chance to take Joe Hart on a permanent deal (Sun) and Everton will have to pay Sam Allardyce ÂŁ6m if they sack him this summer and appoint Marco Silva (Express). A couple more of these survival gigs and Big Sam will surely surpass Jeff Bezos as the worldâ€™s richest man.